@Playing_Dad: Boss: Why do you look so sad? Me: I actually paid a college hundreds of thousands of dollars so I could do this

@BuckyIsotope: Kanye West builds a time machine so he can interrupt himself interrupting Taylor Swift.

@TheCatWhisprer: Golf is probably fun if you like walking around outside in business casual.

@TechnicallyRon: David Attenborough, the confusing early years

@Robert_Beau: I installed a pet door over the weekend, and the dog barked at it, and the cat pissed on it, but the raccoons have got the idea.