@outsidemagazine: Yellowstone visitor upset bears didn’t show (Would like park service to train them):
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@causticbob: Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, "Awesome, now we're both barking."
@SteveDutzy: Clark Kent is such a hipster. He has fake glasses, still uses phone booths, & prides himself as being the only one who hasn't seen Superman
@moxieblogger: Dear God, Laying an egg once a month would have been preferable. Thanks for nothing. ~ All women
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Therapist: You have passive aggressive issues. Me (under my breath): says the woman who only listens to my troubles because I pay her.