@robfee: Yelp is a great way to find out where garbage people will never eat again because one time a waitress forgot their honey mustard.
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@_Shizzle: They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
@EJGomez: me: can i have a coke waiter: is Pepsi ok? me: ya pepsi's fine pepsi: i have a boyfriend
@flashember: [Zoo, bird show] "Millions of years of evolution have made these ancient raptors into graceful sky gods." *bird headbutts window 50 times*
@ericsshadow: Doctor: How long ago did you injure your shoulder? Women: 9:45am on Monday at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 2002