@bridger_w: Yelp review: Excellent food, friendly service. That said, I did notice a smudge on a window and was forced to set the building on fire
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@fart: i made the mistake of watching a single zit popping video on youtube and now my recommendations screen is trying to make me barf
@EpicurusRising: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!!! *holds up severed head The crowd stared in horror as the National Spelling Bee contest took a morbid twist.
@EtobicokeErnie: The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance of not going to work tomorrow. Tequila gives you a 1 in 3 chance.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Dance like nobody's watching. Do the dishes like nobody's watching. Change into that robe like nobody's watching. No, the other one.