@jonnysun: "yer a magician, harry" hagrid said to hary houdini when he graduted magic academy
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@ashmensch: If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, please stop buying your prescription glasses at Walmart.
@jerryRenek: Just saw a squirrel jump about 15 feet from one tree to another. He is now my new emergency contact.
@SirEviscerate: *sees melted chocolate swirling in tv ad* ooooh yeah *raisins fall into the chocolate in slo mo* nooooo *punches hole in wall*