@jonnysun: "yer a magician, harry" hagrid said to hary houdini when he graduted magic academy
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@ceejoyner: Sometimes at the beach it's like "gross, is that a condom?" Yes. And it's staying on. Not looking to raise any shark children.
@KenJennings: Rationally, I now understand that my parents were always Santa, but I still don't get how they made it to all those houses in one night.
@gabemakesmusic: I once saw a road sign that said, "Slow Down, Small Children at Play" but then it occurred to me that I'm not afraid of small children
@rachelaxler: it's cool how the members of Anonymous are so good at computer stuff, but also wrote so many great poems and inspirational quotations.