@nice_mustard: yes 911 i need to report a kidnapping. lol yeah there's a baby goat asleep in my lap. no dont send cops you'll wake him up
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@JessObsess: I may make a lot of typos when I text, but in my defense, I do have to look at the road sometimes.
@NotThatKristi: We're adults. It's bad enough we selfie. Don't make it worse with the surprise face selfie
@rickygervais: Troll: Horrible thing. Me: Horrible thing back. Troll: I was just giving my honest opinion. Me: Me too. Troll: But...
@neiltyson: To tell you the truth, beginning a sentence with “To tell you the truth” throws into question all else you’ve previous said.