@weinerdog4life: Yes, 911, that guy just fed my house letters again.
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@ClassicMegan: If you don't open your mouth when you yawn, you're a monster. I'm serious. Let that demon go. You're freaking everybody out.
@lovemydogduck: My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
@ElgatoEsmio: We met for coffee yada yada yada next thing I know we're in the back of my car covered in lobsters and her dog is driving us to the ER
@AnkCoupleTO: *at lawyer's office* Me: I want to divorce my idiot wife, she's seeing a surgeon *idiot wife pops out from under desk* that's so not true!