@nancy_yogapants: Yes, autocorrect, I live you too.
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@Sal0630: GF looking at lines in carpet: Aww, you vacuumed for me? Me: *flashback to me rollerblading in the living room* Sure did, babe.
@3sunzzz: *shows up at your potluck party with a bag full of weed* "I think I misunderstood the invitation."