@rachelle_mandik: Yes but what if Donald Trump IS actually dead but his toupee is alive and steering him round like a marionette?
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@joryjohn: [Baby crying in a movie theater] Me: "What's his name?" Parent: "Ethan." Me: "The movie's starting, Ethan."
@AimeeHelene1: I've developed a rash from my wedding ring, which can only mean my body is rejecting marriage.
@Raoul_Duke_71: *Dorothy pummells Glenda with a ruby slipper DAFUQ YOU MEAN I HAD THE POWER TO GO HOME ALL ALONG?!! YOU SENT A MINOR TO MURDER A WITCH!!??
@Sophie2078: If anything bites you, chain yourself in the basement for the next full moon. Just to be sure. *things I learned from horrors