@SoulYodeler: Yes I am 45, male and love cats. Recently I posted a selfie. It could be worse though, right? Hello?
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@pleatedjeans: [airport] For $800 more you can upgrade to Arctic Class What's that? Same as coach but the flight staff is penguins [slaps table] SOLD
@Epygma: "Do you want to go out on a date?" *sweats nervously* I C-CAN'T "Why?" *shoots friend next to him* I HAVE TO GO TO A FRIEND'S FUNERAL
@LeBearGirdle: Doctor: I'm sorry son, it appears you have... Jenga-itis Me: [trying to pull the doctor's shoes off without him falling over] is it bad?
@kelkulus: Pretty sure that "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" is the kid's version of "Saw".