@carlawh: Yes, I DO think "did you bring my pizza?" is an acceptable answer when you're in a public bathroom and someone knocks on the door.
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@Reverend_Scott: God: welcome to heaven. here's your wings. Adam West: [putting on batman cowl] I won't be needing those.
@ieatanddrink: For animals with an "amazing sense of smell" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing "Whoops, these are turds"
@kiel_phillips: ME: Dave's coming over for tea WIFE: Dave from work or Dave I'm having a secret affair with? DAVE: *from inside wardrobe* I don't eat peas
@Alex_N_Chains: I think at this point, a pterodactyl egg has better odds of getting laid than I do.