@Jandalize: Yes, I have a fitness app. I use it to time how long it takes the pizza delivery guy to get here.
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@stevevsninjas: The biggest myth about travel is "packing light" - don't bother! Light is available from the sun and artificial sources worldwide.
@murrman5: we lost our power "why?" a transformer blew up by our house *eyes widen* "that's awes-" it's not as cool as it sounds
@InternetHippo: ME (tousling his hair): You got a girlfriend? 8 YEAR-OLD: Yeah ME (grabbing him by the collar): How. How did you do it
@NuryVittachi: WIFE: So, is Elon Musk an alien from another galaxy? ME: Nah, an alien would have a name made of random human sounds. Wait