@VaChina1: Yes I have exams.
No, I'm not easily distracted.
Yes, my shadow is interesting.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Feel free to name your next kid after me.
Coworker: Why would I name my kid “Giant Douchebag?”
@TheToddWilliams: [grandma's house]
Little Red Riding Hood: Are you going to eat me?
Wolf: I just want my hoodie back.
@stockejock: Twitter reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, 'Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?'
@AlexvanBeek: Being a bigger account doesn't make you a better person. We're all terrible people. We're on twitter. I threw a baby at a fox this morning.
@mydmac: Once, just once in my life, I'd love a guy to grab me, pull me in close and whisper
I'm hunting wabbits.