@SoVeryBritish: "Yes, I remember you saying" - Translation: Please stop saying that
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@Maui_Speaks: I love wearing ear-buds and listening to the music loud at the gym, because no one can hear you if you fart...Why is everyone looking at me?
@TheTweetOfGod: Sometimes Jesus appears on toast, sometimes pancakes, sometimes waffles. Always on breakfast food. Why? It's the most important meal.
@KalvinMacleod: Baby elephants migrate hundreds of miles to find water. My 6 year old is lying on the floor of the mall because I made him walk from the car