@VerbsRProudest: Yes I wore a $900 fuchsia southern belle dress to your kid's baptism. When I was your bridesmaid, you said I could always wear it again.
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@VerifiedJayy: When a guy tries to talk to me while at a urinal I instantly slide over and start pissing in his urinal too. See how friendly he really is
@singwithTaffy: I shall plucketh thine eyes from ye skull and make kebobs but with bendy straws instead of skewers cuz those are dangerous
@SortaBad: [Christina Aguilera begins singing the lyrics 'You Are Beautiful' at her concert, notices me in the audience, and abruptly stops]