@divyne_mess: Yes I'll watch your kid,but if you don't pick her up on time, I'm telling her there's no Santa Claus.
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@thatUPSdude: Me: What are these red chips worth? Dealer: 5 bucks. Me: What about this orange one? Dealer: Sir, that's a Dorito.
@OctopusCavemann: Jesus: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone Skeletor: *throws stone* Jesus: HEY! Skeletor: I’m sorry. Did you say “skin” or “sin?” I don’t have ears.