@theresa_lauren: "Yes, I'm still single and underemployed, but at least I'm not MARRYING CHARLES MANSON" --women at family holiday gatherings from now on
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@duplicitron: Once at church I opened my eyes during prayer and saw Jesus riding around on a wolf making sure everyone’s eyes were closed.
@_Pandy: seven swans to rule them all, six geese to find them, five gold rings to bring them all, and in the pear tree bind them
@missekay: *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *has to pee* *watches soccer* *gets up to pee* *misses goal* :/
@1Happytwit: 6yo's can't go to jail so I have no idea why this one's refusing to drive me home from the pub.