@gruffybeard: Yes kids, Daddy does have a favorite and you'll find out which one of you it is when my will is read.
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@Hellaphantitis: "So let's name the turtles after the most influential artists and their sensei we'll name after this lil piece of wood stuck in my foot"
@TheMichaelRock: If schools were really serious about fundraisers, they'd sell drugs and alcohol.
@meladoodle: A demon that writes messages on your mirror with blood but they're useful messages. Like "remember you have yoga at 6 tonight"
@ninatreemonkey: If I had two bathrooms I'd tell everyone someone died in one, I ain't tryna clean two bathrooms