@gruffybeard: Yes kids, Daddy does have a favorite and you'll find out which one of you it is when my will is read.
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@funnweaver: My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab potential taco thieves.
@Jenny4ashley: If you had to choose between voting for Trump or getting into the water with sharks, would you dive in or do a cannon ball?
@IntrepidDeviant: So she was like, "Put on some protection". I then pulled out & wore a yellow construction hat. We laughed & laughed & now I have herpes.
@phalguy: My girlfriend's ex won't leave her alone. I'd drive there and do something about it if my wife would just give me the keys.