@HanaMichels: Yes, Neil, everything sounds better when you have a great voice. That's how sound works.
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@QwertyJones3: WIFE: Your tree puns make me sick ME: Well you make me sycamore. Why don't you leaf.
@kimlockhartga: Opened the back door and a tiny lizard fell from the sky. It's either a sign, or the smallest plague ever.
@KeetPotato: wife: "no one will remember dont worry" me: "ok" [2 mins into my high school reunion] guy: "yo are you the dude that brought a dog to prom?"
@ihuffpaint: what do you mean I never take you anywhere we just took a 365 day trip around the sun