@mattytalks: Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5'9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please
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@MariyaAlexander: If diamonds are a girl's best friend how come diamonds never drunkenly make out with me?
@lafpgh: Showed my husband all the super-awesome Twitter lists I'm on. He put me on a list called People I Probably Shouldn't Have Married.
@Swishergirl24: I know they took some creative liberties with 'Noah' but I really wasn't expecting that Prius.