@Eagle_Vision: Yes, Pitbull, we are having a good time. Please stop asking every two minutes.
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@TweetsByTheTony: [ouija board] Who are you? *board begins spelling* G-R-E-E-N--M-A-R-I-O What the -- a Luigi Board?! W-A-H-O-O--I-T-S-A--M-E
@Mikecanrant: I can only handle so much of a screaming kid on a long car ride before I pull over, take them off the roof, and let them back in.
@DaddyJew: Sneaking up on me from behind while I'm doing dishes is a super fun way to get yourself stabbed with a steak knife