@Eagle_Vision: Yes, Pitbull, we are having a good time. Please stop asking every two minutes.
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@BucMarvin: It must be very traumatic for my wife to be at work knowing I'm home alone getting bread crumbs on the kitchen counter. Let's pray for her.
@WarrenHolstein: Having a traditional Columbus Day. Headed to a casino to hand out blankets with smallpox on them.
@Derrick_Snyder: Twitter: What do our users want? Users: An edit button and relief from spam/abuse. Twitter: Novella-length Tweets it is!
@ibid78: [therapist] what seems to be the problem? [her] he only hears what he wants to hear. It's awful [me] oh my god yes, I would love a waffle