@AmnesiaRose: Yes you impress me but so does a new set of windshield wipers.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My wife handed me a mop so I inspected it and said, "You're good to go, woman!" and now the mop handle is in a funny place.
@maughammom: Me: "Want a banana?" 3yo: "Yes, but don't cut it up. And don't peel it. And don't make it be a banana. Make it be a waffle."