@AmnesiaRose: Yes you impress me but so does a new set of windshield wipers.
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@AliceGolightly_: Me: You've dimmed the lights already, aren't we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
@osoplain: I'm texting hubs a grocery list one item at a time so he can experience his phone blowing up
@jergarl: [At urinal maker store] Urinal maker: Let's make some of them curved so the pee splashes on their legs LOL. Other urinal maker: K. LOL
@DrizzyTheType: Drake the type of nigga to get a wanted star in Grand Theft Auto, drive to the police station and turn himself in.