@AmnesiaRose: Yes you impress me but so does a new set of windshield wipers.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BillFienberg: If you get a new job before you quit your old one, it's considered responsible. But if you do that with your gf, it's called "cheating."
@dafloydsta: ME: I have good news & bad news WIFE: Bad news first ME: The baby giraffe broke the TV WIFE: We don't have a- ME: Aaaaand now the good news