@THEDUTHCHESS: Yesterday 9 asked what's the meaning of life and 6 punched him, but that was yesterday when I was on acid. Numbers don't usually talk to me.
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@loribuckmajor: Removed my spanx slip and accidentally ricocheted myself into the neighbors backyard.
@huntigula: If you watch "The Empire Strikes Back" backwards it's about a kid so traumatized to learn his dad's identity he starts hitting on his sister
@SamGrittner: I asked my mom what she wanted today and she said "she just wanted me to be happy," so I'm on ecstasy petting a dolphin right now.
@SexySillyGrl: Your honor, I second that motion Judge: Ma'am, I'm simply reading your husband's request to be cremated