@TylerLinkin: Yesterday I fell, landed on my back, and could not roll over and get up. At the time I was wearing a Turtleneck Sweater.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@nbadag: *mob meeting* ayo new guy—who're you? "they call me the butcher" oh yea? why's that, butch? *smacks him with a pork loin* "no reason"
@eyeswidebutt: [on phone] mom I need u to pick me up from the restaurant right now *whispers* no the date is going terrible, she pronounced it 'pokey-man'
@OBiiieeee: "Dad why'd u name me this?" I named u after the greatest athlete to ever live "Oh ok" Now let's go, Air Bud, we're gonna be late for church