@TylerLinkin: Yesterday I fell, landed on my back, and could not roll over and get up. At the time I was wearing a Turtleneck Sweater.
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@UhhhJasonWebb: I’ve spent the six years trying to learn Braille via hospital elevators. So far, I know elevator.
@liv_thatsme: I was gonna go to a New Year's Eve party, but the invite said "bring your significant other," & I don't feel like unhooking my TV.
@LeBearGirdle: Accidentally mixed up Sudoku and Sepukku again. Long story short it's a good thing I was already in a doctor's waiting room