@Cali_Kid_Mike: Yesterday I told my aunt that DTF means "Doing the Facebook". Her daily posts are much more entertaining now.
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@FlyJ_: I almost crashed into the semi in front of me while I was looking at a hot construction worker. That would've been an embarrassing obituary.
@Tmoney68: If Twitter has done nothing else, it's trained me to spell words like diarrhea, gonorrhea & chlamydia without spell check.
@AdderallMomma: Nobody warned me that my child could possibly develop an attitude similar to mine.