@WilliamAder: Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."
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@Shelts99: My wife wants me to make her scream in the bedroom. The 32 lego pieces & 6 upturned plugs, I've strategically placed, should do the trick.
@upsidedowntrash: WIFE: It's either me or th- ME: He has name WIFE: OR the goose. ME: Say it. WIFE:… ME: Say his name. WIFE:… ME: Why won't you love Tom Honks
@man_spach: When my cats look out the window at another cat I like to pretend they're judging and disparaging it with little British accents.