@WilliamAder: Yesterday was the shortest day of the year until I read your blog.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Priest: Dying people are drawn toward a bright light. Do you know what that proves? Me: Dying people are moths?
@Culprit7: I love Yahoo Answers because no matter how bizarre my question, someone in the world has already thought of it. And thats really comforting.
@iRowlf: "Yo, somebody filled this calzone with a checkbook and sunglasses!" -Vin Diesel eating a purse
@Reverend_Scott: Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why didn't you text me? I'll never call you back. Like, ever. You'd have better luck with a telegram.