@WilliamAder: Yesterday was the shortest day of the year until I read your blog.
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@Rich_McCarthy: Check for bed bugs by yelling "Gee, I'm so happy there are no bed bugs here!", and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire.
@BBQJones28: For every chick that's crying about no good guys out there...there's a dude she's ignoring that's good to her.
@BobTheSuit: Me: So, what do you do for a living? Her: I flip houses. Me: You must have incredible lower back strength. Her: You're an idiot.
@KateWouldHaveIt: All I’m saying is that I’ve chaperoned a 25 student class field trip and you’re definitely in trouble if you lose even one of them.