@Cyd10e: Y'know the trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music does.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kelkulus: If you believe that no great story ever started with someone eating a salad, then you're using the wrong kind of mushrooms.
@ericsshadow: My wife spent two weeks deciding what color to paint the bathroom. I got a cat on my 9th birthday and named it Cat.
@CaseyMichelle__: Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn't doing his part of the chores around here
@ConanOBrien: Sorry you didn’t win Best Picture, “Mad Max: Fury Road,” but if Trump wins the election, you can re-submit for “Best Documentary.”