@TheHyyyype: me: i swear officer, i can even say the alphabet backwards cop: not really relevant to this murder investigation but ok

@WhaJoTalkinBout: 10: Can we go to the adoption store and pick up a new baby? Me: Sweet girl, Mama has 4 kids. If we go right now it's probably to drop off.

@darksidedeb: Bull: [angrily snorts] Bulldog: [angrily barks] French Bulldog: [angrily chain smokes while reading Sartre]

@Douchekevin: If you ever saw me race to the liquor store 5 mins before it closes, you'd hire me for a getaway driver in a bank heist any day.

@BlindChow: *uses Ouija board* ＮＥＷ ＰＨＯＮＥ ＷＨＯ ＤＩＳ