@Ginlicker: Cops would catch more drunk drivers if they just stood outside with signs that say HONK IF YOU'RE WASTED!

@DeanOkay: Drying out wet fireworks in the oven is not a good idea. Trust me on this

@ryan_rachryan80: I regret to inform you that I've had better lays from a bag of chips.

@TheTweetOfGod: "I want my country back" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country.

@Ygrene: [God Creating Dads] God: Ah, yes. Think I'm done Dads: Hi Done, we're Dads! God: Dads: God: *creates the adjustable thermostat*