@Asbo_Unicorn: "YOLO" giggled the 53rd incarnation of Buddha
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@shegotagronk: You're so vain, you probably think me driving by your house 27 times at 2 a.m. wearing all black with binoculars is about you, don't you.
@sixfootcandy: Boss: Can you redact the total before sending the statement? Me: Sure. Right after I look up the word redact.
@iQuoteComedy: If you watch the Harlem Shake backwards, it's a video about a guy who parties longer than everyone else.