@2HighBros: Yooooo you smart Brooooo
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@3sunzzz: [notice son's not home] [text] Me: IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT! I SAID HOME BY 11! 17: You were my ride. Me: Oh. Where are you again?
@slimmy_shady: Who the friggin hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere. You just let one into your home and it becomes your cat.
@Vice_Queen: I'm at a second grade music recital and this is by far the most effective form of birth control I've ever tried.
@randomlawless: I am NOT just 'a piece of meat' you know. I'm a ribeye steak... a bit fatty, but still quite tasty. Ok, I lied. I'm pork butt.