@KentWGraham: You act like no one at work has ever asked you to apply ointment to a bunion before.
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@Izianikapani: I read my daughter a book about a Frogapotamus last night and dreamt of riding one. Tonight I'm reading her Hugh Jackman's autobiography.
@Carbosly: Me: My sex life is like your car. Friend: What? Sleek, performance-inspired, 6-speed, classic & acclaimed? Me: Nope. Electric powered.
@Lynseyjo1: To the girl with the nazi swastika avi that just rt'd me...... You just rt'd a Jew!!!! Enjoy your evening shalom
@IamEnidColeslaw: today I went for a run & a homeless guy was like WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM & I was like EVERYTHING