@Oshungurl: You agree to sound convincing when you lie about changing and I agree to believe you. Formalities over, let's get this relationship started.
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@WildeThingy: I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
@Dr_awfulpants: [at ATM] Would I like to check my balance? Okay sure. *presses button* *robot leg shoots out and sweeps mine* 'Your balance is: awful'
@moose_chocolate: I routinely take 8 flights of stairs for no other reason than to avoid idle chit chat in the elevator. See, hating people can be healthy!