@chinkydeliciae: You and your happiness can go straight to Walmart. Or whereever your "hell" is.
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@Playing_Dad: [At a One Direction concert] No, I'm not a...I SAID NO I'M NOT A BIG ONE DIRECTION FAN I JUST HATE MYSELF AND FEEL THE NEED TO SELF PUNISH
@dreamthievin: Replace his deodorant with a glue stick so he thinks of you every time he tries to raise his arm to put around the shoulders of another girl
@briangaar: I just want to be one of those dads who runs on the field & tackles an opposing 6 year old