@weinerdog4life: You are all invited to my murder shed, I mean my shed
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@NickBossRoss: You'd think after 12 years of filming Boyhood someone would be like hey maybe we should make this good.
@AllieA: On my first day of college my dad's only advice was "don't date any of your teachers!" Yeah right dad, everyone knows teachers are poor.
@RdrJay47: Me: Wow, you're glowing. Her: Aaaaww, thank you! Me: No, like radioactive... Her: . . . Me: Tone down the filters?