@weinerdog4life: You are all invited to my murder shed, I mean my shed
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@LindzThoughts: If maxi pad commercials didn't exist, us women would have no idea that we're full of blue windshield wiper fluid.
@jonnysun: GOOD COP: tell us where ur boss is hiding and we'll let u go BIKE COP: [clenches fist] we woulda caught him if he hadnt climbed those stairs
@marinhubka: "I'm not sure-" wife: honey he's a zookeeper if he says these are koalas I trust him-aww look at them! *the raccoons hiss from the dumpster*