@mjm866: You are not truly drunk until you have a jar of peanut butter in your hand and your looking for the dog
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@cigarin: I don't just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day.
@Shock_Monster: Canadians like to brag about getting all four seasons: Winter Almost Winter After Winter Not Winter
@LizHackett: A child in the coffee shop cried and cried until she was given a cake pop, and as I walked past, I whispered, "Your technique is flawless."
@ericsshadow: No thanks Audi; I get all the uncompromised luxury I can handle by driving whatever car my wife thinks makes me look the most married.