@krakkenlackin: "You are what you eat" I chant furiously, shoving another roach in my mouth. Mushroom clouds keep growing in the distance
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@oakhillbargrill: That tweet is awesome. You guys are awesome. Twitter is awesome. I've made awesome friends on Twitter. A thesaurus would be awesome.
@KeetPotato: [gameshow] me: [visibly doing maths on my fingers] "17" host: [looks at me weird] "that's wrong" other contestant: "salmon?" host: "correct"
@jimmytorosian: Slave: I know a way to escape Hipster slave: My friend Harriet has a better way. You probably haven't heard of it. It's really underground.
@muffinlab: What behaviour immediately makes u suspicious of someone? 4 me it's when they extend their cape w/an arm, then obscure the lower face w/it.