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@Ideal_Victoria: You are what you eat?
*eats Natalie Portman*
@MomOfTeen: Bought some expensive neck cream.
Directions say to apply it twice daily.
If I slather it on every hour, I'll have the neck of a teen.
@bluntphilip: Rich people in movies apparently can't drink scotch without telling everyone how old it is.
@generaldietz: Me: *nervous giggle* Goodbyes are so awkward. Like do I go in for a kiss or what?
Drive-thru attendant: Please just take your food, sir.
@imOverlyManly: Loses house keys. Builds new house.
@ReelQuinn: “I’m caught in a love hexagon.” - polygamists