@BuffyMaddingly: You aren't supposed to strip during Zumba. Apparently.
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@cerebralbeef: The way to cure your loneliness is to get on out there! But first, be better looking. And stop being yourself, that's obviously not working.
@nayele18: Can't afford those fancy water parks, so I just throw cups of water in my kids faces when they least expect it.
@KevinFarzad: According to tinder, every guy is at a lake holding a fish & every girl is on top of a mountain & that's why it's so tragically hard to meet
@bombsydoll: girl at work scraped the frosting off her cake because there was 'too much' & it was 'too sweet' so I ate her frosting & then I ate her