@slaughthie: You breed dogs? Don't they do that on their own?
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@TheMichaelRock: Some guy told me I wasn't funny today, so I punched him in his face because nobody likes liars.
@didifalldown: [God Creating] Lucifer: Make them wake up paralyzed sometimes G: That sounds horrible L: People will love it G: Hm, I trusted you on spiders
@ValeeGrrl: My son just sat me down to gently explain how I haven't made his summer "fun enough" yet so now he's folding laundry. In a totally fun way.
@PaperWash: Just saw one of those giant centipedes run though my living room so now I'm gunna sleep with a flamethrower and a full metal jacket.