@10InchesPlus: You call it armed robbery, I call it people giving me gifts to celebrate my new gun!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mynameisntdave: I can't wait until Twitter gives you the option to block yourself. I say some real dumb shit on here and I shouldn't have to deal with it.
@maymay72x: Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money's worth... Just saying.
@iwearaonesie: wife *resting after surgery* me wife me [holding flowers and a Transformers birthday balloon] They didn't have any that said "Get Well Soon"
@robfee: There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about that Backstreet Boy asking his pals, "am I sexual?" & they're like, "yeah."