@upsidedowntrash: [pronounces testosterone like macaroni]
@TheToddWilliams: [post-abduction]
ALIEN 1: Be not afraid, human. We will do you no harm
ME: Will I like Area 51 if I haven't seen Area 1 to Area 50?
ALIEN 2: Let's grab a different one
@BGH70: On average, it takes a person 7 minutes to fall asleep…
2.5, if Tammy from purchasing is telling you about her weekend.
@ArfMeasures: ME: I dislike myself
THERAPIST: That's quite common
ME: Really?
THERAPIST: Yes, for example, I don't like you
@DanKCharnley: Sensible dad: I'd like to buy 3 'fleeks' & 7 'swags' for my son.
"Sir this is Urban Outfitters"
Do you have any 'baes'?
"Please leave"
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