@TheTweetOfGod: You call it lightning. I call it targeted airstrikes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@UberFacts: A survey found one in five women have ended a relationship because their significant other was too busy playing video games.
@13spencer: I keep having to remind myself that an "oral history" is not nearly as exciting as it sounds.
@InternetHippo: me: lord if you’re up there, give me a sign booming voice from above: LOG OFF me: that could’ve been anyone
@MarcusTheToken: A kiss begins with K. But it's also just a text from someone who doesn't want to have a conversation with you.