@shatterpants: You call it premature ejaculation, I call it being 15 minutes early.
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@GuyThe_Guy: My pistol only holds 9 bullets, so when I lose my shit I only get to kill 9 people or one cat.
@kellyoxford: Cyclists who don't obey street signs should have to wear their google search history on a t-shirt.
@Marcmywords2: Dear XBOX Kinect If I wanted to use my whole body to play sports, I'd play sports.
@MrSpoonicorn: *sits gf down* i am about to ask you a big question. if you dont know the answer then thats ok... *clears throat* where is the space jam dvd