@JasonBerlin: You call it the Friend Zone. I call it Palcatraz.
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@XplodingUnicorn: My wife and I divided up the important talks we'll have with our daughters. She'll handle puberty, sex, and college. I'll handle zombies.
@TonyFan1420: 8:00 AM: Too tired to think Noon: Too tired to think 5:00 PM: Too tired to think Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles??
@garrettbarry70: Accidentally changed neighbor to neighbour and now I'm saying stuff like "bloody hell" and "brilliant"
@iLikeCatShirts: Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*