@JasonBerlin: You call it the Friend Zone. I call it Palcatraz.
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@sammyrhodes: Donuts are made from flour. Flour is made from wheat. Wheat is a plant. Plants are vegetables. Donuts are a vegetable.
@XplodingUnicorn: Failed long-term relationships are never a total waste. They teach you valuable life skills, like how to carve profanity into car paint.
@QwertyJones3: I always keep a water spray bottle next to my bed in case a cat burglar breaks in.
@PlagueLovers: My password is "weak?" Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad.