@TheTweetOfGod: You call them natural disasters. I call them destructive criticism.
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@AngryRaccoon2: My superpower is choosing the one table in a restaurant next to the woman talking loudly enough that I know her entire family tree when I leave.
@SoVeryBritish: Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says "I'm going to have to cancel tonight"
@_4kidscrazy: Me: You know what cures a headache right? Wife: Tylenol Me: You know what else cures a headache? Wife: Advil Me: You know what else ......