@louisvirtel: You can always predict what antigay protesters will say. But never how they'll spell it.
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@bakedbrotatoes: -This is my son Michelangelo. -Oh, like the artist. -Um no like the Ninja Turtle.
@audipenny: Why are you being weird about how we made eye contact and both smiled and then I took the form of an actual bat and chased you for 11 miles
@Tommytoughstuff: [Olympic Swimming] CANADIAN ANNOUNCER: I feel bad for the water look how hard they're kicking it.
@CarrieMayhem: People who say "you can run but you can't hide" have never played hide & seek with me.. or seen me run.