@KeetPotato: you can basically just make up facts as long as they're about animals.. cows can't look left. you don't know
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@astutenewf: When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.
@mikealfredcaine: my cousin jeff died today. sent flowers to the family with a little card saying "jeff is dead" so they know what the flowers are for
@KentWGraham: After announcing our weight at birth, parents shouldn’t stop. If they announced it at every birthday, we’d all be a lot skinnier.