@evanR39: You can catch a lot of flies with honey, but you can catch more honeys by being fly.
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@WilliamRodgers: I'd rather drop a baby than my iPhone.... I mean I can make another baby, but I have no clue how to make an iPhone.
@Sassafrantz: If I'm ever reincarnated I hope I get to be a bear because I'll be like "stop playing dead, I used to be human. That shits not gonna work!"
@GensPlace: Avoid cars that have a sign saying 'baby on board'. That driver has only had a couple of hours sleep and is likely to be suicidal.
@No_Job_Joe: My boss just fired me because I spent the past 45 minutes taking a crap. I don't see why he can't just clean it off his desk, and move on.