@evanR39: You can catch a lot of flies with honey, but you can catch more honeys by being fly.
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@daemonic3: GOOD COP: He won't talk except in sign language BAD COP: I just cut off his left hand BAD PUN COP: He still has the right to remain silent
@AndrewNadeau0: All these pregnancy photos are so annoying. It's like, "Ugh, we get it, you ate a baby."
@charliedelta7: I don't have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow
@Death_Buddy: "Good morning please could I have one human ticket to the water park" Sir are you a shark in disguise? *sharks fake eyebrows slide off*