@markleggett: You can eat up to three spiders every night in your sleep, except on "cheat days" when you can eat as many as you like.
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@DannyZuker: The most romantic restaurant in the world is not as dimly lit as the operating room on a TV medical drama.
@shariv67: When a cashier asks me if I found everything I was looking for, I take their hand, look deeply into their eyes and say, "I have now."
@gavinspeiller: Anyone under the age of 21 should be legally required to end every sentence with the phrase "but there's a good chance I'm wrong about that"
@JesTurtle: I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight.... It's probably not a good night to go to jail....