@mohitraj: You can even hide a dead body in Terms & Conditions, No one will ever know.
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@dukelongboard: I crack my knuckles, turn to the cops and say "I got this" as I stroll toward the bank robbers and get shot in the face
@0point5twins: Girlfriend left a note on the fridge "this isn't working, you take everything too literally". She'll be so happy when she sees the new one.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Winning a fight with your gf is like winning a vacation to Detroit. Don't get too excited
@dafloydsta: Fun game: if someone wants to shake your hand, sniff your fingers first and then see if they still want to.